Stay tuned until the end for my new recipe for Making Decisions that you can try!
Have you ever read a choose your own adventure book? I remember reading them and I couldn’t wait to get to the part where I’d have to make a decision. I couldn’t wait to be the mastermind of my own journey.
But, let me ask you a question…
What happens if you get to that part of the story and you don’t make a decision?
You don’t get any fucking closure, and Nothing. Nothing happens. Is that what you fucking want?
So, my point here is that you need to make a decision, then read on in your story.
If you don’t choose - you are stuck on page 30.
And if you don’t read on - you’ll never find out what happens.
The unfortunate truth is that most of us stop reading our story mid-way through. We get to a decision that seems to be too small, too big, too difficult, too sad, too obvious, too boring - and we don’t pick a path. We just stop.
And we get nothing.
Before you know it, we’re in our prime years not knowing wtf we’re doing, or why we’re doing it. We don’t have a purpose, a path or a plan. We’re stuck on one of the pages where we were supposed to choose, but we didn’t.
After eight years in my first marriage my story ran into a page where I had to make a decision or just stop all progress.
I suddenly knew that I wanted and needed something more. I had the big house, multiple cars, two beautiful children and a reliable career. I had amazing things on the horizon - things that most middle-class Americans would call success.
My marital story up until that page was perfect. A little too perfect. A little too “nice.” It was the kind of story that makes people roll their eyes and think about how naive they are.
I longed for adventure… so that’s what I chose. I chose a windy path full of sharp lefts, mountains and narrow passages.
The other choice was to stay and work on the marriage I had. To create adventure where there wasn’t any, and to ignite passion where there wasn’t even a spark.
There was, and always is, a third option. You get to the fork in the road, and you just sit down right where you’re at. You camp out. You stay right there. Eventually you get so comfortable, and so used to your surroundings that you forget there are even pathways that lead to the next step in your adventure.
It’s like you’re the little pig that never gets his house blown down and never gets a story written about him either. Ok, if that’s what you want - cool. Sit down then.
What’s a choice you’ve been mulling over, and you need to decide?
A NEW ADVENTURE RECIPE TO TRY
From my (vegan) kitchen to yours:
RECIPE FOR: Making Decisions
PREP TIME: None - you were born ready for this. Every single experience you have had up until now has prepared you for every decision you make.
COOK TIME: Long enough to be well-informed.
Look at the options.
Make sure you have a clear understanding of each option before you as well as the possibilities or limitations each one brings.
Feel into your body as you contemplate the outcomes. What feels good?
Lean into the option that brings you more happiness. Still feel good? A little scary?
Assess the risks involved and weigh out whether the reward is worth the risk. Ask yourself “If I am wildly successful at _________________ (thing you’re considering), and I could achieve _______________ (reward you might reap), would I give up _______________________ (potential loss)? If the answer is yes - then it’s a go.
Comment with a choice you’ve been mulling over, and what you need to decide!
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